Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens

Yes there have been 7 of them, 3 were amazing, 4 were terrible. U know which ones are which. A Superhero like me has the right to criticise bad movies. They did not even call me for audition!

This last movie was in my opinion the worst of the lot. I simply cannot believe how they were able to make such a bad movie. Next time JJ, call viKid. viKid has the power to show you the truth.

This movie failed on all counts except CGI (and who cares about CGI)

Let us make a quick analysis...

1. Poor Story

Sorry not only was it poor, it was a copy of the first movie. Only this time it was done hundreds of times worse.

2. Terrible Politics

This was meant to be a Star Wars without Supreme Galactic Councils and Politics. It was meant to be a fresh new story, with new characters and a return of the old magic.

Instead we got a story full of third wave feminism, lame jokes and a 'diverse' cast. For what I ask you? Who did you please with this nonsense?

Enough with this crazy agenda. Please leave such politics out of movies. Else viKid will have to make his own! I am crazy enough to compete with you. Don't push me. I am a Superhero.

3. They destroyed the previous trilogy, Episodes IV V & VI

I mean a the end of Episode VI, Luke, Lea & Hans destroy The Empire. They win comprehensively and yet just 20-30 years later we have an appauling situation:
  1. Luke is a loser Hermit that no one can find
  2. Hans and Lea have become possibly the worst parents in the galaxy
  3. They have become spectacularly dumb in the process too
  4. The rebels also haven't progressed, in fact they've regressed
  5. Lea is demoted from Princess to General
Did I miss something?

4. Kiloren and the Incredible Giant

Our chief villian is now a duffus of the highest order. A waste of a Darth Vader replacement, a millennial cry baby and tantrum throwing wreck.

This super villain can be defeated by a janitor and is torn (internally) like a puppy dog. The Emperor has become the BFG.

He is a master who looks the love child of Voldemort and Gollum but only 50 ft tall.

Really how bad can it get?

5. There's so much more...

But who cares, who has the time to even review this movie when we can be looking at other viKid Truths?

The whole enterprise is in ruins.

JJ and Disney Killed it.


25jul16   admin